About 20 months ago I was working at a job I loved (for the most part). One weekend, I went into the office on a Saturday to help out my boss. That Saturday he ended up giving me a wonderful promotion. I was thrilled and loved the new challenges. 3 months after that, one Saturday morning, I woke up early and took a pregnancy test that turned out positive. Then took another one...still positive. I sat down on the cold bathroom tile that had started spinning uncontrollably. I thought about how I was going to tell my husband who was still asleep on the other side of the door. I thought about that new promotion and how my boss was going to take the news. I thought about the fact that Brad was planning on leaving for law school in 6 short months. And then I thought about the fact that I have never wanted to put a child in day care.
I probably set there for 30 minutes thinking, praying, crying, and laughing. I crawled back into bed next to Brad and showed him the tests. It was 5:00 a.m. and he didn't have his glasses on and was still half asleep. I waited for it to all sink in. Then as it all registered, he looked at me with the same confusion that I had a few minutes before. I knew all of those same emotions were rushing through him so I gave him some time. We were thrilled and excited but also scared. We hadn't planned on trying to have a baby until after law school. We lay there and talked about everything. I cried and he reassured me that everything was going to be fine. We prayed and asked the Lord for wisdom, guidance and strength. Then we became so overwhelmingly filled with joy and excitement that we just couldn't stand it! We didn't know how it was going to work out, we just knew that it would.
Throughout my pregnancy with the various trials and hardships that we faced one verse ran through my mind constantly. I would wake up in the middle of the night and this verse would be on my mind: Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." We needed our paths made straight because at times it seemed like they were winding and crooked and sometimes we couldn't even see the path anymore. But we trusted in Him.
I had said many many times over the years that I would never quit my job. I loved it. The Lord had to make me not love it to get me to leave. Through a myriad of poor decisions on my bosses part, I realized that this was no longer a place I wanted to be associated with. I actually grew to hate going in. It was a struggle to get up and go into a place that I had once loved so much. Through much prayer and thought Brad and I decided that I would quit. The Lord had shown both of us that it would please Him for me to stay home with our baby. This meant cutting our income in more than half and trusting the Lord to provide.
"The Lord is seldom early but never late". I heard this at one point while we were going through this difficult process. I begged the Lord to hurry and provide a way for us. Brad had chosen not to go to law school and had been looking for a better and more stable job as he was about to be the sole provider for his wife and child. I cried and pleaded with the Lord day after day. I was not "resting in Him" as I knew I was supposed to. He was faithful though. On my very last day of work, Brad called me to tell me he had been offered a wonderful position and had accepted!!! Thank you Lord! As I left that office for the last time that day, I was filled with praise and joy and relief and thankfulness. The Lord was faithful in spite of my lack of faith. He certainly wasn't early but he was not one single second too late. The Lord had provided for us and "made our paths straight".
Some women who have worked and then quit to stay home with their children find the transition difficult. Some feel useless. Some feel like they are wasting their time and valuable assets. Not me. I was joyful! I ate it up. There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank the Lord that I get to stay home with James and help Brad by being a homemaker. I have never felt more useful and valuable and fulfilled. Part of this is because of Brad. He values the things that I am doing for him and for James. Part of it is because I know I am doing what the Lord has called me to do. I get to see every milestone in James' life. I consider it all a joy and privilege. Even the cleaning and the laundry and the cooking. (Not that I don't whine every now and then...)
So one day a while back, Brad came home for lunch and we were sitting down to eat and he said the prayer that went a little something like this..."Dear Lord, thank you for this food and the hands that prepared it. Thank your for our families and all of the blessings you have given us. Please be with James and Stephanie as they play all day. Amen"
Silence.
I probably set there for 30 minutes thinking, praying, crying, and laughing. I crawled back into bed next to Brad and showed him the tests. It was 5:00 a.m. and he didn't have his glasses on and was still half asleep. I waited for it to all sink in. Then as it all registered, he looked at me with the same confusion that I had a few minutes before. I knew all of those same emotions were rushing through him so I gave him some time. We were thrilled and excited but also scared. We hadn't planned on trying to have a baby until after law school. We lay there and talked about everything. I cried and he reassured me that everything was going to be fine. We prayed and asked the Lord for wisdom, guidance and strength. Then we became so overwhelmingly filled with joy and excitement that we just couldn't stand it! We didn't know how it was going to work out, we just knew that it would.
Throughout my pregnancy with the various trials and hardships that we faced one verse ran through my mind constantly. I would wake up in the middle of the night and this verse would be on my mind: Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." We needed our paths made straight because at times it seemed like they were winding and crooked and sometimes we couldn't even see the path anymore. But we trusted in Him.
I had said many many times over the years that I would never quit my job. I loved it. The Lord had to make me not love it to get me to leave. Through a myriad of poor decisions on my bosses part, I realized that this was no longer a place I wanted to be associated with. I actually grew to hate going in. It was a struggle to get up and go into a place that I had once loved so much. Through much prayer and thought Brad and I decided that I would quit. The Lord had shown both of us that it would please Him for me to stay home with our baby. This meant cutting our income in more than half and trusting the Lord to provide.
"The Lord is seldom early but never late". I heard this at one point while we were going through this difficult process. I begged the Lord to hurry and provide a way for us. Brad had chosen not to go to law school and had been looking for a better and more stable job as he was about to be the sole provider for his wife and child. I cried and pleaded with the Lord day after day. I was not "resting in Him" as I knew I was supposed to. He was faithful though. On my very last day of work, Brad called me to tell me he had been offered a wonderful position and had accepted!!! Thank you Lord! As I left that office for the last time that day, I was filled with praise and joy and relief and thankfulness. The Lord was faithful in spite of my lack of faith. He certainly wasn't early but he was not one single second too late. The Lord had provided for us and "made our paths straight".
Some women who have worked and then quit to stay home with their children find the transition difficult. Some feel useless. Some feel like they are wasting their time and valuable assets. Not me. I was joyful! I ate it up. There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank the Lord that I get to stay home with James and help Brad by being a homemaker. I have never felt more useful and valuable and fulfilled. Part of this is because of Brad. He values the things that I am doing for him and for James. Part of it is because I know I am doing what the Lord has called me to do. I get to see every milestone in James' life. I consider it all a joy and privilege. Even the cleaning and the laundry and the cooking. (Not that I don't whine every now and then...)
So one day a while back, Brad came home for lunch and we were sitting down to eat and he said the prayer that went a little something like this..."Dear Lord, thank you for this food and the hands that prepared it. Thank your for our families and all of the blessings you have given us. Please be with James and Stephanie as they play all day. Amen"
Silence.
Brad, realizing what he had just done, sat quietly staring at me all wide-eyed.
More silence.
"So you think I just play all day, huh?"
"NO! I didn't mean that! I just....uh....no....I know you don't just play all day....."
Silence.
Don't you know the Lord was laughing. And then I laughed. And then Brad reluctantly laughed. I know he knows all that I do. I know that he appreciates the meals, the laundry, the cleaning, the happy healthy baby. We are both making sacrifices for our family but at the end of the day, it is not the sacrifices we are thinking about. We are thinking about our happy marriage, our happy baby, our happy life and most of all thanking our Lord for all of it and daily trusting him to continue to make our paths straight...even while we play all day.
Comments
You made me cry!! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story. I had forgotten some of those details. The Lord is good!
YAMS