Update On Jude

When we checked into our hotel in Dallas last Tuesday I couldn't help but notice that we were right next to a massive construction site.  (Hence the free upgrade to a room with a balcony).  I was a little concerned but they stopped working before bedtime so I didn't think it was too big of a deal. 

But we didn't have the same luck the next night.  They worked through the night with floodlights and jackhammers!  I am not kidding.  I finally got up at 2:00 am and looked out the window to make sure what I was hearing was really happening and it wasn't just a bad dream.  Sure enough...I have the worst hotel luck in the world.  Jude and I did not get much sleep at all and were both super cranky pants in the morning.

But we went to our happy place (La Mad) and had a good breakfast to get ready for our appointment with the oncologists. 

After getting his labs done Jude perked right up as we waited for the docs.

He even tried to play on their computer.

After a long talk with one of Jude's doctors, I felt pretty uneasy about things.  The good news is that Jude's MRI's were clear.  They had a few other little concerns that I am actually not worried about at all.  They even said these things were "impressive"...not a good word to hear coming from a doctor.  It doesn't mean "good".  I am choosing not to focus on or worry about these things because I truly have a peace about it and do not think it is anything to worry about.  However, I was concerned about not following protocol and getting Jude all the scans he is supposed to have. 

So I left there as I always do, feeling part happy, part confused, and part discouraged.  We stopped by to see our sweet friend Courtney and her son Tyler who is undergoing chemotherapy right now.  We met them back in November and have just fallen in love with them and their amazing faith.  She's a rock.

We left the hospital, went to get James from Care Care (he did not want to leave) and headed home.  That night I talked to Dr. Honey at length about my concerns and the oncologists concerns.  As always, she was able to put my mind at ease and explain some of the things I was having trouble understanding.  She is going to talk to Jude's oncologist and get the whole protocol thing ironed out.  We will discuss this more at Jude's 18 month well-check next week.

So that is the update for Jude right now.  Not much to say until we know more from Dr. Honey.

This weekend we had beautiful weather and the boys enjoyed playing outside.

Today James went with Brad to get a new mountain bike.  James got on it and said, "I'm going to have one of these when I am a man!"  Ha ha.  I guess a pretty new bike is the real sign of becoming a "man" in his eyes.

Thank you so much for your prayers for Jude and his scans and our trip. I continue to trust that the Lord has His mighty hand on this sweet little one no matter how discouraging or frustrating these trips to the oncologist can be.  We are blessed.

Scans

I'm glad today is done and Judie Bug is sound asleep and resting well.  Because I am early everywhere I go, Jude and I made it to the hospital in record time...an hour early.  I just wasn't sure about the traffic after yesterday.  But it is a good thing we were early because the first appointment of the day didn't show up and we got their spot! 

In the waiting room

 

Lately I have noticed a little eye and facial drooping on Jude.  I called the hospital yesterday and left a message for the oncologist to see if she might want to add some scans to the list today since Jude would already be sedated.  Thankfully, she got the message in time and was able to get the extra scans added for his head and neck.  That more than doubled our time at the hospital today.  We were there from 7-1:30.  However, I am so grateful they were able to accommodate us and add on the extra scans.  I am the only one who was grateful though.

They put the parents in the recovery rooms all down this one hall while we wait for our kiddos.  The walls are very thin so you can pretty much hear everything everyone is talking about.  Well, apparently Jude's extra scans threw off the schedule for the day by a lot.  I heard 3 different parents complaining.  Two of which were yelling at the poor, sweet nurses.  I felt terrible.  The lady in the room next to me was there with her son who had a broken leg.  She laid into some hospital management person and told him exactly what he could "shove in his suggestion box".  Ouch.  I was horrified!  I was so close to going next door to relieve him but I was scared of her.  She sounded mean.  And I'm not as quick on my feet these days with all the extra baby weight.  He (hospital guy) calmly explained the situation to her and she told him that we are the ones that should have had to wait if it isn't life or death.  (Ummmm...yeh...it kind of is seeing as how it is CANCER!!!!)  Oh my gosh she was so awful.  She said she was prepared to wait for 30 minutes but that this was ridiculous.  30 minutes!?!?!?!?  You have GOT to be kidding me.  Head on up to the oncology clinic and wait for 5 hours then see how you feel, lady.

Anyways, I felt terrible for the nurses who were having to put up with the mess and they felt bad for me who had to sit and listen to everyone be mad about my baby. 

Speaking of the sweet nurses, they were constantly checking on me.  I curled up on the miniature sized bench in our room and fell asleep.  (Seriously...it's tiny...like it belongs in Barbie's Dream House. I had to drag over some chairs to accommodate the extra body parts that were hanging over the edges.)  At some point one of the nurses brought in 3 warm blankets and covered me up.  Heaven!  It was so nice.

One of our nurses, Kathy, put Jude's IV in.  ON THE FIRST TRY.  Back in October we had our last round of scans that we will ever do in Amarillo because of this. I was telling Kathy they had to stick him 14 times to get an IV in.  She was horrified.  She said, "They aren't a children's hospital, are they?"  Clearly.  She said they have a rule that they can only stick a child twice but they always get it on the first try.  Jude was not so thrilled with his IV though.

He found ways to destroy the room while we waited in spite of his "boxing glove".

It took several hours but Jude finally came back from all of his scans and woke up MUCH better than last time.  It was a world of difference.  I talked to the anesthesiologist about how cranky he was last time and he worked some kind of anesthesiology magic and Jude woke up like a little ray of sunshine.

I had planned on staying in our room all afternoon to let Jude sleep it off but he didn't need to!  So I took the opportunity to go to the mall. It was like the mother ship calling me home.  I made friends with Dallas and all her traffic and inexplicable road construction and 200jillion different highways and made it all the way to the mall (9 miles away) in record time.  It took me over an hour to get back to the hotel though because of my absolute inability to remember that there is such a thing as 5:00 traffic around here.

The ladies at Williams Sonoma gave Jude a sucker.  He was a big fan.  But oh my gosh...I could have thrown him up against a wall and he would've stuck to it by the time he was done.  He was covered in a strawberry flavored glue.

Jude did great until we sat down to eat at La Madeleine.  He was done.

We headed back to the hotel and Jude fell asleep in the car.

Of course it was just enough of a little cat nap to get him good and wired.

But it was ok because he needed a good long soak to get all of the strawberry suckery stickiness off of him.

Tomorrow we go in for clinic and will hear the results of Jude's scans.  We will also have his labs done.  I hope we are done early enough that I can swing by and pick up James from Care Care and drive home.  I miss Brad.

James had a fabulous day from what I hear.  He slept until 7:45 which I don't think he has done ever before in his whole life.

I love those puffy morning eyes!

He also got to go to the botanical gardens.  I'm jealous.

I miss my little Jamesie and can't wait to see him tomorrow.  Although, I don't think he is going to want to leave Care Care's.  She is way more fun than I am.

Thank you for your prayers today for Jude.  I am so grateful to the Lord that we were able to add on the extra scans at the last minute and that Jude tolerated the sedation so much better this time.

Small Town Girl

After a quick stop for coffee and donuts, the boys and I headed out of town this morning at 6:45.  After the required stops for me to get out and walk around, we finally made it to Carrie's at 12:30.  James could not get me and Jude out the door fast enough!  He was so ready for his fun vacation with his Care Care.  (He calls her "my Care Care").  He wasted no time getting down to the business of playing.

He played in a tent, he colored with markers, he painted, he played with play doh, he jumped on the trampoline, he played trains with Uncle Andy, and he cooked dinner with Aunt Care Care...just to name a few of the fun things he got to do today.

Jude and I drove into Dallas and got checked into our hotel just before the traffic got bad.  I STUPIDLY decided I would run out to Target before dinner to grab a few things I forgot.  The gps said it was only 8 minutes away so off we went.  35 minutes later we finally made it to the Target that was only 4 miles away.  I have never been more painfully aware of how small town I am until today.  So many people, so many highways, so many wrong turns.  I swear that if I heard the gps lady say "recalculating" one more time I was going to throw myself onto the highway.  All I wanted to do was turn around and go back to the hotel and not leave again.  But I was already committed.  I love our friendly, small town and I miss it.  (And for the record, Amarillo really isn't that small...but it's a lot smaller than Dallas).

Jude was thrilled with the yummy cookie he got when we checked in.

 

Then he rested a little.

Sometimes this cancer stuff will hit me at weird times...like I am hit with the reality of it more than at other times.  Driving into Dallas today and past Children's where we will be for the next two days was just sort of depressing.  I just hate that this is a part of Jude's life.  I hate what he has to go through.  I never thought I would be bringing my baby to regular appointments with his oncologist.

Jude is FINALLY asleep.  I hope he sleeps well because tomorrow is going to be a rough day for my sweet boy.

Thank you for your prayers for Jude over the next two days.  I will keep you posted.

Random Catching Up

James had some computer lessons with Nana today.  I think he's catching on.  He'll probably have his own blog soon.

Then the boys had a few words with Papa.

I was trying to get a picture of Jamesie to send to Nana and this was the best I could get.  Gross.

After he washed his hands, he played with my phone...which I never let him do because he tends to delete stuff.

Jude's appointments with his oncologist are on Wednesday and Thursday.  We are praying for clear scans, great labs, and for Jude to not have a bad reaction to the anesthesia (like he did last time).

23 weeks pregnant with Katy Jane.

 Still trying to convince him of those monsters.

Purge

Today we started purging our home of all the baby boy stuff now that we know we are expecting a Katy Jane.  Brad got out all of the tubs for me (probably10-15 full) and I started sorting stuff into donate and keep piles.  I opened up the first newborn tub and started pulling out all of those sweet little blue outfits.  Every memory of dressing baby James and baby Jude in them smacked me in the face.  I lost it.  I mean I was crying like a baby.  Sobbing is more like it.  Gotta love these pregnancy hormones.  Sheesh.  I just kept thinking about when I was pregnant with James and bought these little outfits.  I was so excited.  And then when he came and I was so in love with him and couldn't believe I was so blessed to get to be his Mommy.  Then I thought about sweet little Jude and how much of his babyhood was stolen by cancer.  We were so preoccupied with his health that I feel like he was robbed of some of the normalcy that James experienced.  Then I thought about the fact that I won't ever get to dress another baby boy in these darling little baby clothes.  So I folded them all neatly and packed them back up and put them right back in the closet.  I am not going to donate those memories.  James and Brad came upstairs while I was in the midst of this teary stroll down memory lane and asked what in the world was wrong with me.  Brad knelt down and hugged me but didn't give into me telling him I wasn't done having babies.  (He is).  James ran to the bathroom, shoved his stool over to the counter, pulled out several tissues, ran back in and wiped my face and kissed me.  He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he was just such a special baby and I had so much fun with him that I had happy tears when I looked at his old baby clothes.

I did manage to get 5 tubs ready to donate and lucky for me...the charity place we donate to called tonight to ask if I had any donations because they will be on our street on Tuesday.  Super convenient!

I have other exciting news too!  In spite of the fact that I have the least green thumbs of anyone on the planet AND I dropped James' greenhouse and frantically scraped all the seeds and dirt back into their tiny pots...

We have sprouts!!!!  It really is a miracle.

When I discovered these little darlings in the kitchen window I screamed for James to come quick (before they died)!  He is so proud.

I told him he inherited his Daddy's green thumbs.  He was baffled.  He looked at his thumbs and said, "they aren't green!"  Should have seen that one coming.

Jude was thoroughly unimpressed with all of it.  He just wanted more food.

Quickly.

A GIRL!

13 years ago Friday I lost twin daughters, Brittney and Adria. They were stillborn.  There is nothing to describe the pain of going into the hospital pregnant and leaving with empty arms.  There are also no words to adequately describe the pain of burying precious twin daughters.

Since that moment my arms have ached for a baby girl.  I love my precious boys more than words can say.  But I am so grateful the Lord has chosen to bless us with a sweet little girl in addition to our wonderful boys.  The exclamation point on the end of our little family's sentence.  I am a girly girl and Brad is adamantly opposed to me putting pink bows and  fluffy dresses on James and Jude for some weird reason so let's just say our house is about to turn into a veritable wonderland of ruffles, bows, and all things pink.

Today when we went in for our sonogram I had all but convinced myself that we were having another little boy.  I wore waterproof mascara in preparation. So when the sono tech told us it is a girl, I cried, just not for the reason I thought I would be.  I couldn't believe it.  All of these years  of waiting for a girl and I was finally hearing "It's A Girl!"  What an indescribable joy.

Now don't get me wrong.  I would have been joyful for another precious boy too.  Ok, maybe not right at first, but what matters is a healthy baby and I would've gotten around to the "joyful" part.  Probably as soon as I saw the picture of that sweet profile.  James and Jude have me wrapped around their little fingers...it would have happened sooner rather than later.

We will name this sweet little bundle of joy Kathryn Jane.  Kathryn is my Mom's name and Jane is my middle name and my Mom's mom's name.  We will call her Katy Jane.  She weighs 1 pound and 2 ounces.  What a chunk!

Today Brad, Mom, James and Jude all came with me to the sonogram. 

I get a little twitchy when I'm stressed out...and I get stressed out when I think I'm about to not get what I want (a baby girl).  Also you should know that Brad and my Mom turn into real comedians together when they are around each other.  They were both monkeying around and getting the boys all loud and monkeyish with them while we were waiting to be called back and it got the best of me and I snapped at everyone.  Flared nostrils, tight lips and all.  So glad Brad managed to snap a picture of this fine moment.

While we were waiting James wanted to inspect the 8 new teeth Jude has coming in now.  Jude was happy to oblige.

He needed a closer look.

James seemed to be thrilled to be having a Katy when we saw the pictures of her.  Now he is just a little confused as to why we got to see a picture of her but she is still in my belly.

When we talked to Dr. Meeks after the sono, Brad asked if he had any advice for him now that he is going to have a little girl.  Without missing a beat he said, "Start saving your money."  He also said that girls are very special and she will have Brad wrapped around her little finger almost immediately.  (I think she already does!) 

I still can't believe that I get to have a little girl.  It seems so surreal.  I am so excited and grateful!

2 Corinthians 9:15-Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

Conversations With The Little Prince

These pictures are from a few days ago.  James took to the role shockingly well.

 

I just went in to check on the boys because I could hear that they were not asleep.  I laughed when I went in because James said, "We are just in our little boat fighting off the monsters."  Obviously.