I couldn't sleep so I gave up trying around 4:00 and came downstairs. I couldn't breathe because of my allergies, my head is killing me, my stomach hurts, and no matter what I do, I cannot sleep. I have decided that all of this is from stress. I wish I could tell you how many times and how many well-meaning people have said, "Just give it over to the Lord...". Yes, I have...several times. And maybe it makes it a horrible sin that I am still struggling with the stress of my son being diagnosed with cancer, struggling with trying to get our home/laundry/life back in order, struggling with sleep...but I do know that the Lord knows my heart...especially my Mommy heart and I feel like He understands. I don't feel like He is judging me for continuing to grapple with these things. Deep down I know that all of this is in His mighty hands. He already knows the outcome of this and no amount of stressing out or worrying or anxiety on my part is going to change that. I do know that. I have learned a great amount more about the Lord's goodness, kindness, love and compassion through this. I have grown to love Him even MORE and I am abundantly thankful for the things I have seen Him do in our lives and with our faith. But still...
So when I came downstairs I got out my Bible and two favorite devotionals. Here are a couple of quotes from one of them...
I willingly bear witness to the fact that I owe more to my Lord's fire, hammer, and file than to anything else in His workshop. Sometimes I wonder if I have ever learned anything except at the end of God's rod. When my classroom is darkest, I see best. Charles H. Spurgeon
Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins but are sometimes the trials resulting from God's extraordinary gifts. God uses many sharp-cutting instruments, and polishes His jewels with files that are rough. And those saints He especially loves, and desires to make shine the most brilliantly, will often feel His tools upon them. R Leighton
1 John 3:1a-How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of GOD!
So when I came downstairs I got out my Bible and two favorite devotionals. Here are a couple of quotes from one of them...
I willingly bear witness to the fact that I owe more to my Lord's fire, hammer, and file than to anything else in His workshop. Sometimes I wonder if I have ever learned anything except at the end of God's rod. When my classroom is darkest, I see best. Charles H. Spurgeon
Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins but are sometimes the trials resulting from God's extraordinary gifts. God uses many sharp-cutting instruments, and polishes His jewels with files that are rough. And those saints He especially loves, and desires to make shine the most brilliantly, will often feel His tools upon them. R Leighton
1 John 3:1a-How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of GOD!
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