Ok...I'm just going to be real with you. Brace yourself. Or stop reading now if you are uncomfortable with poop talk. But we have some major MAJOR poop issues going on with Jude and James.
Let's start with James. Just mentioning the word "antibiotic" around him gives him diarrhea, bless his little heart. He had an antibiotic shot on Tuesday and has been on oral antibiotics twice a day since then so he is pretty bad off in the hineybo area. Yes, I'm doing the brat diet, yogurt, no milk, etc. It doesn't work for him.
The worst part is that he hates being in a wet or poopy diaper (we put the potty training on hold when Jude was diagnosed with cancer and will get back to it once everyone is well from the pneumonia...don't judge) so he will try to get his pants and diaper off and go sit on the potty in time. Well that was great until I had to clean the potty training potty bowl. I am not cut out for that kind of labor. I don't think I've ever gagged so hard in all my life. I made Brad clean it and I set James up on the big potty. Sink or swim buddy...literally. I'm not dealing with potty bowls and diarrhea. That was NOT in my job description when I was hired on. But since he has to poop like every 10 minutes (for reals) this is sort of inconvenient. Especially since he only likes to use the upstairs potty.
So today I was on the phone with...guess???....yep...a doctor's office. But this time it was for me. I am switching to a female primary doctor in case you really wondered...I know you didn't. But I'm over-sharing tonight. ANYWHO...so while I'm on the phone with the new doctor's office giving all my info, James runs past and has taken off his pajamas and diaper and is making a naked mad dash up the stairs. Not good. The doctor's office lady was asking for my insurance info at the time so I had to get it out of my purse and give it to her before I could run upstairs to stop the disaster that I knew was unfolding. So still on the phone with her I come upstairs and find the bathroom smeared with poop. Awesome. He had used both the big and little potties and in the process...defiled every surface in the bathroom. Big potty, little potty, counters, himself, everything. There was a ton of toilet paper in and trailing out of the big potty. James was holding the little potty bowl showing me and asking for "candy because he poo-pooed in the potty!!!!" which the lady on the phone heard and laughed...she must have potty trained someone at some time. Then he had to go again and went and sat down on the little potty...the one WITHOUT the bowl in it...and pooped on the floor.
I'm not paid enough.
In the process of trying to wipe James, clean poop up off the floor, potties, counters and myself, and trying not to gag all while giving this woman my information (STILL!!!!) I disconnected us.
I quickly tried to clean everything up before calling her back. I finally did and she was super nice and asked if he got his candy for pooping in the potty. She got a little more info then Jude started screaming and I went to pick him up and disconnected us AGAIN! I sheepishly called her back and profusely apologized and begged her to still take me as a patient.
Nap time finally came and I put James in his room, put Jude down, and went to pay bills and balance the checkbook. You're jealous of my fun life, right? A little later I hear that James still has not settled down so I went to get him. I opened the door to find that he had once again removed his diaper...this time FULL of diarrhea and wiped himself with a full box of wipeys, some socks, some t-shirts and shorts from his dresser, his freshly changed sheets, bedspread, some books, the headboard and carpet. He also emptied out three dresser drawers just to keep it interesting. He looked innocently at me...all naked and stuff...and very frankly said..."I pooped." I gathered as much.
Now for Jude. He has the opposite issue from the same exact medication. How weird is that? So Dr. Honey told me to give him prunes or prune juice today. Sadly...it was the highlight of my day.
My camera man cut a little too early and missed some of the gagging so I made him start rolling again. I've gotta get my laughs where I can.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-14- Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. There is a time for birth and a death, planting and reaping, for killing and healing, destroying and building, for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing, for throwing stones and gathering stones, embracing and parting. There is a time for finding and losing, keeping and giving, for tearing and sewing, listening and speaking. There is also a time for love and hate, for war and peace. What do we gain by all of our hard work? I have seen what difficult things God demands of us. God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all He has done, and He puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do. Everything God has done will last forever; nothing He does can ever be changed. God has done all this, so that we will worship Him.
Let's start with James. Just mentioning the word "antibiotic" around him gives him diarrhea, bless his little heart. He had an antibiotic shot on Tuesday and has been on oral antibiotics twice a day since then so he is pretty bad off in the hineybo area. Yes, I'm doing the brat diet, yogurt, no milk, etc. It doesn't work for him.
The worst part is that he hates being in a wet or poopy diaper (we put the potty training on hold when Jude was diagnosed with cancer and will get back to it once everyone is well from the pneumonia...don't judge) so he will try to get his pants and diaper off and go sit on the potty in time. Well that was great until I had to clean the potty training potty bowl. I am not cut out for that kind of labor. I don't think I've ever gagged so hard in all my life. I made Brad clean it and I set James up on the big potty. Sink or swim buddy...literally. I'm not dealing with potty bowls and diarrhea. That was NOT in my job description when I was hired on. But since he has to poop like every 10 minutes (for reals) this is sort of inconvenient. Especially since he only likes to use the upstairs potty.
So today I was on the phone with...guess???....yep...a doctor's office. But this time it was for me. I am switching to a female primary doctor in case you really wondered...I know you didn't. But I'm over-sharing tonight. ANYWHO...so while I'm on the phone with the new doctor's office giving all my info, James runs past and has taken off his pajamas and diaper and is making a naked mad dash up the stairs. Not good. The doctor's office lady was asking for my insurance info at the time so I had to get it out of my purse and give it to her before I could run upstairs to stop the disaster that I knew was unfolding. So still on the phone with her I come upstairs and find the bathroom smeared with poop. Awesome. He had used both the big and little potties and in the process...defiled every surface in the bathroom. Big potty, little potty, counters, himself, everything. There was a ton of toilet paper in and trailing out of the big potty. James was holding the little potty bowl showing me and asking for "candy because he poo-pooed in the potty!!!!" which the lady on the phone heard and laughed...she must have potty trained someone at some time. Then he had to go again and went and sat down on the little potty...the one WITHOUT the bowl in it...and pooped on the floor.
I'm not paid enough.
In the process of trying to wipe James, clean poop up off the floor, potties, counters and myself, and trying not to gag all while giving this woman my information (STILL!!!!) I disconnected us.
I quickly tried to clean everything up before calling her back. I finally did and she was super nice and asked if he got his candy for pooping in the potty. She got a little more info then Jude started screaming and I went to pick him up and disconnected us AGAIN! I sheepishly called her back and profusely apologized and begged her to still take me as a patient.
Nap time finally came and I put James in his room, put Jude down, and went to pay bills and balance the checkbook. You're jealous of my fun life, right? A little later I hear that James still has not settled down so I went to get him. I opened the door to find that he had once again removed his diaper...this time FULL of diarrhea and wiped himself with a full box of wipeys, some socks, some t-shirts and shorts from his dresser, his freshly changed sheets, bedspread, some books, the headboard and carpet. He also emptied out three dresser drawers just to keep it interesting. He looked innocently at me...all naked and stuff...and very frankly said..."I pooped." I gathered as much.
Now for Jude. He has the opposite issue from the same exact medication. How weird is that? So Dr. Honey told me to give him prunes or prune juice today. Sadly...it was the highlight of my day.
My camera man cut a little too early and missed some of the gagging so I made him start rolling again. I've gotta get my laughs where I can.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-14- Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. There is a time for birth and a death, planting and reaping, for killing and healing, destroying and building, for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing, for throwing stones and gathering stones, embracing and parting. There is a time for finding and losing, keeping and giving, for tearing and sewing, listening and speaking. There is also a time for love and hate, for war and peace. What do we gain by all of our hard work? I have seen what difficult things God demands of us. God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all He has done, and He puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do. Everything God has done will last forever; nothing He does can ever be changed. God has done all this, so that we will worship Him.
Comments