Ugh. This was a BAD day. I am glad it is over and my babies are tucked in bed sleeping. Today was Jude's 2nd scan. And due to some major incompetence on someone I probably shouldn't name's part we almost were not able to get these scans. THANKFULLY, Raine did the incompetent person's job and we were able to get them. Whew! I saw a side of myself today that I haven't seen in a long time. I remember now where Jude gets that temper of his. It's not Brad after all. There will be a pointed conversation come Monday about this. You don't mess with a Momma whose baby has cancer when his life depends on these scans. Can I just tell you how thankful I am for my friend Raine??? She saved the day...twice! Then she calmed me down when I was crazy mad and about to go have some words with the person who did not do her job. She wisely told me to wait until Monday when I am calm and able to think rationally.
Anywhoosie...Jude got his injection and scan and he was not too thrilled about it. My poor baby. It hurts my heart to see him in this huge machine, so uncomfortable and crying and scared.
I would give anything if I could take his place in all of this. Babies should not have to go through this.
We have our 3rd scan tomorrow. We might hear something back by Friday but if not, it will be Monday. Looks like Monday will be another busy day. Poor Jude. He will have an appointment with Dr. Honey and Dr. Regueira.
Mom and Dad have kept James for me while Jude and I have been at the hospital. And he LOVES it. He gets all kinds of spoiled. He got some new awesome Spiderman swim trunks today and I tried to get a picture of them but he kept running around in circles. It's like trying to hit a moving target.
I am having all sorts of Mommy guilt tonight. I am worried that we should have heeded the advice of so many and sought a second opinion in a larger city. We felt so confident about staying here and maybe that was foolish. I don't know. Both Brad and I had such a peace about staying here. Maybe I shouldn't be doubting that after just a few bad experiences. Or maybe I should. I don't know. Can you tell how confused I am??? This is why Brad should never leave me unattended. It gives my mind too much time to wander. I am much better off when I am supervised.
There are just some days when the weight of this seems heavier than others. I don't know why that is. Today is just one of those days and I am sure tomorrow will be better. Regardless, I trust the Lord to guide us through this and the decisions we make for Jude. One of my bigger fears is looking back and wishing we had made a different decision. Of course we want the very best care for Jude. We just need wisdom in figuring out where that is.
Psalm 56:3-When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
Philippians 4:6-Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present you requests to God.
Psalm 94:18-19-When I said "my foot is slipping", You, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Anywhoosie...Jude got his injection and scan and he was not too thrilled about it. My poor baby. It hurts my heart to see him in this huge machine, so uncomfortable and crying and scared.
Mom and Dad have kept James for me while Jude and I have been at the hospital. And he LOVES it. He gets all kinds of spoiled. He got some new awesome Spiderman swim trunks today and I tried to get a picture of them but he kept running around in circles. It's like trying to hit a moving target.
I am having all sorts of Mommy guilt tonight. I am worried that we should have heeded the advice of so many and sought a second opinion in a larger city. We felt so confident about staying here and maybe that was foolish. I don't know. Both Brad and I had such a peace about staying here. Maybe I shouldn't be doubting that after just a few bad experiences. Or maybe I should. I don't know. Can you tell how confused I am??? This is why Brad should never leave me unattended. It gives my mind too much time to wander. I am much better off when I am supervised.
There are just some days when the weight of this seems heavier than others. I don't know why that is. Today is just one of those days and I am sure tomorrow will be better. Regardless, I trust the Lord to guide us through this and the decisions we make for Jude. One of my bigger fears is looking back and wishing we had made a different decision. Of course we want the very best care for Jude. We just need wisdom in figuring out where that is.
Psalm 56:3-When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
Philippians 4:6-Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present you requests to God.
Psalm 94:18-19-When I said "my foot is slipping", You, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.
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