March was a difficult month and it seems to be spreading its love into April as well. After our appointments in Dallas we found out that Jude's labs came back high. Definitely not the news we wanted or expected to get. I had actually given very little thought to Jude's appointment because I was so certain everything would be fine. The elevated labs could be something as simple as a food he had eaten that caused the numbers to be high or it could mean the cancer has returned. We will repeat the labs in about a week and go from there. As the mother of a cancer kid who has gone into remission, that is the call you dread for the rest of your life..."his labs came back high". Got the call, dealing with it, moving on.
The medicine for Katy Jane has not been working at all and in fact, she seems to be doing worse. She is eating less, less content, spitting up again, and her spasms are frequent. She has started wincing and has dark circles and bags under her eyes which means she isn't sleeping well. I've been trying to get in touch with her GI specialist for 11 days and haven't been able to talk to him to find out what we need to do. At her 9 month well check with Dr. Honey we discussed her "cutaneous sensitivity" (she doesn't like to be touched, especially on her hands. She is very sensitive to sounds, light, touch and textures. All of this leads us to think we may need to go down the neuro route. Meanwhile we are waiting to hear back from Dr. Andersen to see what he suggests we do as far as medication goes.
This week there have been 2 major incidents, back to back, where the Lord truly spared our lives in what could've been a tragedy. Both left me completely unnerved and shaken. My mind has been plagued with thoughts of what nearly happened...what could've been. How fortunate we are for His protection over this home. A wake-up call? Perhaps. The Lord trying to get my attention to be more attentive and mentally present? Certainly.
Yesterday we got a call from our bank and a computer with all of our information on it had been stolen. Of course we were one of only 70 accounts at risk. I have never been particularly concerned about identity theft but now I realize the magnitude of how scary, stressful and inconvenient it really is.
This week at BSF we studied about Jacob and Esau and how God wrestled with Jacob and wrenched his hip-his walk was never the same. Jacob clung to the Lord and refused to let go until He blessed him. I'm feeling a little hip-wrenched at the moment. However, I am very aware of how good the Lord is to us amidst trials. I have so much to be grateful for and know that things could be so much worse. I will cling to Him and refuse to let go. "But cling to the Lord your God as you have done to this day." Joshua 23:8 There are countless gifts and blessings that I have to be thankful for. I am praying for the Lord to deliver Jude and Katy Jane from illness and bless them with complete health. It is so hard to have no answers concerning your child's health. I am praying that He gives us wisdom and guides us through the numerous difficulties, disciplinary issues, health concerns, stresses and strains that surround us at the moment. God is good, He will provide. I am watching and waiting expectantly for his providence.
At night, when I collapse into bed: mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausted from the day, I want my heart to turn to thanking and praising the Lord for all He has blessed us with and for trusting us with the trials He is allowing. Because they are for our good-they will work together for our good. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 Instead of grumbling, crying, fretting and complaining, I want to make the intentional and conscience decision to THANK HIM. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18 The Lord knows I am bone-tired, feeling defeated, worried, heavy-hearted. He created me, He knows me. He is not surprised by my un-Christlike response to the circumstances He has allowed. But I can do better than that. I can do better than grumbling. I want Him to use the trials to refine me to be more like Him. I've got a long way to go. But I will rejoice over these blessings that I have...my wonderful husband, my precious children, the freedom I have to worship the Lord, our family, our home, our church...the list is endless indeed.
Sometimes it is easiest to remember how precious these little blessings are when they are asleep and not hurling disobedience at me.
For the record, I got very little sleep this night. You can see how much room they left for me. None.
I think we all sleep better when they are in their own beds. But I miss the snuggles.
Today is a new day. His mercies are new EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Praise God!
The medicine for Katy Jane has not been working at all and in fact, she seems to be doing worse. She is eating less, less content, spitting up again, and her spasms are frequent. She has started wincing and has dark circles and bags under her eyes which means she isn't sleeping well. I've been trying to get in touch with her GI specialist for 11 days and haven't been able to talk to him to find out what we need to do. At her 9 month well check with Dr. Honey we discussed her "cutaneous sensitivity" (she doesn't like to be touched, especially on her hands. She is very sensitive to sounds, light, touch and textures. All of this leads us to think we may need to go down the neuro route. Meanwhile we are waiting to hear back from Dr. Andersen to see what he suggests we do as far as medication goes.
This week there have been 2 major incidents, back to back, where the Lord truly spared our lives in what could've been a tragedy. Both left me completely unnerved and shaken. My mind has been plagued with thoughts of what nearly happened...what could've been. How fortunate we are for His protection over this home. A wake-up call? Perhaps. The Lord trying to get my attention to be more attentive and mentally present? Certainly.
Yesterday we got a call from our bank and a computer with all of our information on it had been stolen. Of course we were one of only 70 accounts at risk. I have never been particularly concerned about identity theft but now I realize the magnitude of how scary, stressful and inconvenient it really is.
This week at BSF we studied about Jacob and Esau and how God wrestled with Jacob and wrenched his hip-his walk was never the same. Jacob clung to the Lord and refused to let go until He blessed him. I'm feeling a little hip-wrenched at the moment. However, I am very aware of how good the Lord is to us amidst trials. I have so much to be grateful for and know that things could be so much worse. I will cling to Him and refuse to let go. "But cling to the Lord your God as you have done to this day." Joshua 23:8 There are countless gifts and blessings that I have to be thankful for. I am praying for the Lord to deliver Jude and Katy Jane from illness and bless them with complete health. It is so hard to have no answers concerning your child's health. I am praying that He gives us wisdom and guides us through the numerous difficulties, disciplinary issues, health concerns, stresses and strains that surround us at the moment. God is good, He will provide. I am watching and waiting expectantly for his providence.
At night, when I collapse into bed: mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausted from the day, I want my heart to turn to thanking and praising the Lord for all He has blessed us with and for trusting us with the trials He is allowing. Because they are for our good-they will work together for our good. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 Instead of grumbling, crying, fretting and complaining, I want to make the intentional and conscience decision to THANK HIM. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18 The Lord knows I am bone-tired, feeling defeated, worried, heavy-hearted. He created me, He knows me. He is not surprised by my un-Christlike response to the circumstances He has allowed. But I can do better than that. I can do better than grumbling. I want Him to use the trials to refine me to be more like Him. I've got a long way to go. But I will rejoice over these blessings that I have...my wonderful husband, my precious children, the freedom I have to worship the Lord, our family, our home, our church...the list is endless indeed.
Sometimes it is easiest to remember how precious these little blessings are when they are asleep and not hurling disobedience at me.
Today is a new day. His mercies are new EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Praise God!
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